An Ordinary Soul

This dusk wasn't simply bringing the day to a close. It was soothing a weary heart, reminding me that even an ordinary soul still deserves to smile after love has left its scars behind.

The sunset was so beautiful that afternoon, I felt as though the whole sky was trying to comfort me. Soft light spilled across the floor, stretching my shadow until it looked so slim that even I was impressed.

I whispered, “Thank you, universe. At least my shadow knows how to spare my feelings.”

I sat by the window holding a cup of tea that had already gone cold, my laptop beside me crowded with audio projects.

Working as a sound engineer at Kelibatmu Soundworks sometimes filled my head with noise, but evenings like this made everything go quiet for a while.

I put on my headphones and listened to the piano notes I'd mixed earlier. Somehow, it felt as though dusk itself were playing the melody for me.

Then longing showed up again.

Like a guest who didn't know when to leave. Uninvited and noisy, like a Temu notification suddenly going off. Then I opened the profile and found some pixelated stock face whose nose I could barely see.

I closed the app immediately.

I had enough problems already.

While I was lost in thought, Tasya appeared.

The neighbour's cat had an unreasonable amount of confidence. She walked into my house as though I were the guest.

She jumped up in front of me and stared at my face for so long that I started to wonder if I was buffering.

I laughed softly.

Then she tapped my cheek with her paw, as though telling me to come back to the real world.

“Tasya, why do people keep thinking about someone who's already gone?”

Tasya gave a short meow.

For some reason, I felt like I understood her perfectly.

Because human hearts are far more sentimental than they need to be.

Mine included.

My heart was so soft even kitchen tissue couldn't compete.

I chuckled.

Tasya even raised one paw like she was about to give me a motivational speech, wearing an expression more serious than most humans could manage.

I stroked her head.

“Lucky you're cute. Otherwise, I would've kicked you out ages ago.”

But the question came back.

Why did I still remember him?

He left without a word. Even now, I had no idea where he'd gone. Maybe he'd disappeared into some buy one, get one free promotion at the mall.

I used to know his voice by heart.

But his face was slowly fading.

Sometimes I pictured him smiling. Other times, his face somehow turned into the random stock model from a dental clinic advert.

Longing really knew how to mess with me.

Tasya suddenly climbed onto my lap and settled down, as though she knew I was getting dramatic again.

She tapped her back paws against my thigh and stared into my eyes.

If she could talk, she'd probably say:

“Seriously. Enough drama. Let's just enjoy the sunset.”

I smiled to myself.

I slowly got up and walked to the window.

The evening breeze drifted in carrying the smell of grass, nostalgia, and the neighbour frying sambal belacan.

I wondered again.

Did he ever think about me?

Or was he scrolling through Temu looking for someone new while smiling like the hero of a TV drama?

If he was using a stock photo, it was definitely him.

I laughed.

But there was still a little pain hiding inside it.

I was just an ordinary woman who had fallen in love, been hurt, and was still learning how to stand again.

But at least I still had myself.

Tasya rubbed against my leg and meowed, as though saying:

“Oi, speak up. I can barely hear all that whispering.”

I smiled.

For the first time, my heart felt lighter.

Not because I had completely erased him.

But because I had started remembering myself again.

Remembering that I deserved to be loved, not played with.

I was only an ordinary soul.

But ordinary souls deserve happiness too.

That evening, the sky did more than comfort me.

It seemed to leave me with one simple message.

Let what is gone remain gone.

What remains is what I need to cherish.